Out of the Quiet

Out of the quiet I was wondering....where does one go when there is no place to hide? I truly needed a place to hide for a couple of days. There was not any place that I had at my disposal to run and find a hole to crawl into. Have you ever had a time like that when disappointments hang like wet denim on your head? Where there is not a thing that can put your mind at ease because there is no real purpose in sight; purpose for hiding...purpose from what you are hiding from. Just trying to make it all better was not easy. So much to wonder about, how I missed up so bad, how another friend could be so close to death, how it could be that I've flunked another test of life, how to stay in a holding pattern and learn to learn as I'm doing it, how could I have another injured body part? Big sigh. Eeyore had nothing on me.

but... in the midst...there was some joy! Babies being born in the family, pansies that restarted after days without being planted, watered, and protected. There was a phone call from a friend and a card from another, a note of encouragement from another. There was Thanksgiving recipes and decorations to unpack. There was the love of grandchildren and daughters....none knowing I needed ...well, love. Guess there was something to help me cope with life without a hole to climb into.

but...more than all that....I'd had more than a few conversations with the One who could DO something about all this hiding preoccupation. I'd been totally honest about my part pity , part loss, part fear party. I'd walked beside some still waters, sat down in some green pastures, and slowly allowed Him to restore my soul. Today I can see a little clearer, and walk and talk at the same time, carry no burdens that remain, grieve with hope and plan on making things happen where I can. He is like that. That "restores my soul" clause is as real as the nose on my face. It takes a minute to see it sometimes, especially when I'm looking so hard at myself. It might get lost in the shuffle of trying to "busy up and get over it". It sometimes is a little hard to accept if I've gotten comfortable with what is frustrating me. But He who is faithful is also patient and He'll still be here when I get over it, just longing for me to have done it sooner.

So, here's to the quiet when it's for listening to His voice and not bringing any of my own baggage with it.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths for His righteousness sake.
And even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
For You are with me .
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup runs over.
Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and
I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever."

(from the Old Testament of the Holy Bible, Psalm 23)