the Quiet

Autumn Dust

To the pumpkins we went....Gentry's Farm to be exact. The day was beautiful, the children excellent, the dust plentiful. It is very dry here and has some side effects. It seem corn mazes are larger since no one's corn made it this year. That's not good. Better mazes make not corn on the cob plentiful. When kids run dust follows like little clouds around their feet. That makes for diapers full of dirt. When children cry they wipe their faces and create a muddy smudge like little urchins. When parents come for photo opportunities you have to dodge every interesting location because you may be in a stranger's memory book someday. All our little ones went home smudgy and weary from all the fun. A wonderful way to spend a glorious fall day even if you have to pay.

Is it Love?

Random thought came to mind...not even contemplating it... Do I prefer approval or or do I prefer love? They are not the same. It got me wondering, which is it? Taken me a while to hash this out but it occurs to me that I seem to seek approval a lot. Very aware that I'm not on some folks top ten list of "people to be around". It's how it effects me that is troubling. What does that knowledge do to me? How does it effect my own thought processes? How much do I ponder the disappointment? How long do I work on bettering my standings? How much mind-time has it taken, for goodness sake?!



I decided to take a long look at this in person by person encounters. When I talk or interact with anyone, and I'm in a "noticing" kind state of mind, I ask myself, " Did I make any adjustment in who I was to meet their criteria? You already know the answer, "Yes, I did."
What that made me realize is that I am a definite "people-pleaser". That is very crippling.
So where does this take me? It helps me to quit denying that I am a people- pleaser and face my own music. Now this will be an on-going restructuring of my thought patterns, but at least I'm on my way to authentic renewal.



I Corinthians 13 is always my way of making sure I am practicing love in it's most perfect nuances. But how about me, maybe it's time I reviewed the relationships that confound me.
I'm honestly taking those that I am concerned about and go over those same "Love Chapter" statements and test the , well, test the love there. This is not for the faint hearted. It's very revealing. Take that challenge with me, ask those hard questions of a relationship that is perplexing, maybe even destructive. Now I'm not saying judge them, just give the reality of what you know to be true, like a real live tuneup, and opportunity to open your eyes a little. Beware. You will find out a lot more about your self than you will about them.



You see, we are not perfect lovers. We want to be, in our own selfish way, but the only true lover is God Himself through Christ Himself. Huge standard but worthy of at least trying to emulate.



So, now back to me. I realize that it's mostly about approval with me. I'm sorry about that. I've confessed it and asked for forgiveness which, by the way, is a large component of LOVE. Now I'm praying that I seek sincere love from others and forget the approval rating. If they are unable or unwilling to reciprocate, that's their deal. But as for me, I want to give love and not even consider what someone's predisposition is toward me. I'm ready to be free from the check list that has nothing eternally significant on it. I want to fly in the face of a civilization that has become completely taken over by , what I call, the "hip factor". I'm not hip because at this point age is the first thing to remove you from the "hip list".



Now here's to covering everyone with the love that sometimes eludes me. No exceptions. You know of course that this kind of love is named "unconditional". It has been practiced through the ages by One who is totally trustworthy and loves us all...who specifically sent His only Son to this earth to die for us...no approval necessary... no exceptions.



This is the deal, I'm trying right now not to even consider what you will think of this blog. It's a fight but it's worth it, because whoever you are... I love you...no exceptions...approval or not...but if I have to make a choice...I'll choose love.

pumpkins on parade

It has already started...the pumpkin and scarecrow show. I'm not late, I couldn't possibly be. It is the second of October, for goodness sake! Just riding through the countryside this morning you could already see the minivans piling up in the driveways of the pumpkin farms. I'm acting like I'm bewildered but , in all honesty, I'm not...I'm thrilled.

There is absolutely nothing like a fall morning and freshly stacked pumpkins waiting in patient piles for families to come and buy. The children come dressed in varied degrees of country attire. Some in their overalls, but most in their jeans. Babies grab the little pumpkins while moms run to catch them before they are thrown like a ball. Bigger kids get to run the hay bale maze. All have a chance to put their faces in the circle cut out of a giant wooden pumpkin made for parents to take their pictures.

Being a certified country girl, I have always felt sorry for anyone who hadn't been chased by a rooster, or planted a garden or gathered fresh eggs still scarred from a hen's behind.. That was an intrical part of life as a child. Now it has been so long ago, that country life, that I find myself seeking out the replicas just like everyone else. Maybe that's the point in pumpkin patches complete with hayrides, we as a people are actually trying to catch a glimpse and a scent of life on a farm.

Just last month one of my magazines had a story about overnighting at a farm and helping out as part of the deal. You can gather eggs, harvest vegetables, feed livestock or sit by the pool and veg out. What a deal. My grandmother would have had a hard time believing that was meant to be a "Secret Farm Hideaway" meant to "tap into rural life." I'm not criticizing our civilization just making a mental note that if one would again like to reunite with the country life my best advice is to bring your checkbook, but oh the fun you would have...

this day

What can one say that could possibly describe a day such as this one? The beauty of the sky alone was indescribable. The air was filled with the expectation of a gorgeous fall. What really took my breath away was the beauty of life itself. The highest highs and the reminders of our fragile state. The birthday of my dear friend was spent walking through a splendid garden of Chihuly glass that was resplendent in the truest of colors and shapes. The reflections in the waters that surrounded them was alone worth the walk through, but the artistry was in itself magnificent. Whimsical forms shooting in all directions stood before us as we gazed more than a little awestruck. Sharing it with someone who has eyes to see beauty in all it's dimensions was a generous gift in itself. Happy Birthday, my dear friend.

This same precious morning came the news of an acquaintance that had been killed in a horrific accident in his own yard. A father of four, a dear man who had overcome many obstacles but had walked kindly in the midst of folks, always wanting to lend a hand. His precious wife and children are in deep sorrow this night as they stand in this present world of beauty, lessened by his departing.

Five years ago this day, we stood at the bedside of one of our dearest friends. His battle with the craziest of cancers finally closed his earthly eyes and caused ours to fill with tears. We all still miss him and his infectious smile, his fun loving hijinks's and his deep love for others. Heaven holds both of these fine men this day.

Returning my thoughts to the wondrous sky, I feel a sudden oneness with the shimmering beauty of the reflections tenuously before me this morning. Life is but a vapor. Here for unknown moments of time. Fragile as a breeze that blows and moves across the waters, taking the picture we gaze upon with it.

Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly." John 10:10b
That would be for days like this through eternity.

There's a mockingbird singing his full list of top ten hits out side my front door! I love mockingbirds, have prayed one would come to live in our shrubs or trees, whatever he liked.
But for these few moments he's decided to sing here and I am so happy about it. You see this is a very, very quiet little cul de sac. I am usually one of only two folks at home during the day. But lately all I get to hear is the construction, or my version is destruction, across the field that I have come to love. The bulldozer started at exactly 7:00 a.m. CST, just as early as the law allows. But that is my back yard. The mockingbird sings heartily from my front yard cedar trees.

I wonder what I can do to get him to stay? Maybe he would work for food, but I'm not sure what food he really likes. Maybe he's in search of a mate, but doesn't know about e-harmony.
Maybe he's happy the neighbor's cat is in for the day. Maybe.... Just wish he'd stay. Oh, well, he's already moved on to my neighbor's across the street. Guess he just wanted to share the love.
Thank you, my friend, you and your songs are always welcomed here.

Hesitation or no guts?

Morning broke with our retriever barking and our neighbor's dog stomping on my flower bed.
Neighbor Mr. Third Grader, stood at a distance saying "Come. Let's go home now. I have food for you." All the while my flowers were meeting their Maker beneath the paws of a full grown yellow lab. My frustration was only coupled by my regret that this young man-in-the-making was not brave enough or concerned enough to get his dog by the collar and pull him away.
My dog now having been drug into the house is more frustrated than I.

Sometimes I do the same thing as my young friend. I stand at a distance, knowing that I have
a responsibility to do something about something. I'm afraid of getting too involved, too serious, too...well sweaty. There are things in life worth the lather. I'm realizing more and more that it takes someone who is deteremined to let the "dog" get them slobbered up to get into the fray. The eternal importance of the issue to considered, am I the one that will walk up, take the "dog" by the collar and say, "You are out of here!"? I already know the answer.