Just left Goodwill. Found a great deal but it was large. Got the ticket to go up and pay but turned around to go ahead and drag it to the check-out. As I approached my find, a lady was intently looking at it and she looked as if she really wanted it more than I did, so I offered her the
ticket. She immediately accepted it and said, "Oh, thank you. Are you sure you don't want it?"
I told her she could have it. The second I turned around a thought came into my mind, "Sucker. She played you like a drum." I felt completely hacked off. But then...the voice I heard sounded familiar. That same voice tried to tell me I was an idiot to try and write a book, "Who do you think will actually read a book YOU wrote?" Then I make plans and hear, "NObody will even know if you don't come, they never liked you anyway."
I'm on to this voice. It always comes when I'm tired, not feeling well or not keeping the truth volume turned up on high. So, even if the lady played me like a drum, that's not my problem.
At the time, I believed she looked like she wanted it more than I needed it and that's enough for me. I'm only accountable for my own actions, not hers.
And what, o man, does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Creating a story can become an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you are intensely carrying your people (characters) thru turbulent times. Soon you are laughing out loud at their antics. Then your heart fills to the brim with awe at the tender scene that has just sprung forth from the keyboard. Right now, I'm in the rewriting/ editing stage and I find myself missing my people.
They have become my best friends and I am concerned about their future. Having said that, I am also realizing how screen writers and novelist, poets and lyrisists form such a personal bond to their work. Having just finished, Inkheart, I sensed the imagery came from a love of her characters. I would love for each of my people to come off my pages and stay with me for awhile.
I would treat them like old friends and cook for them and laugh and cry at what they would say.
Since I am their creator, I would want them close to me. I'd set the camera on a ledge and we'd all stand together and have our picture made. I'd miss them terribly if they had to go back into the pages.
If I, being a word creator, love my people this much, how much more passionately does my
Creator love me. His passion for my company and welfare is more that I can imagine. So I now turn to Him and ask, "Can I sit with You for a while and I wish we could have our picture made together."

So I've been dealing with impatience. Bet I've dealt with it all my life, but now it seems to be a
real problem. I've been asking the ONLY ONE who can help me ...to well, help me. Now. Like right now. I'm insensitive, judgemental and altogether a big thorn in the flesh to somebody. So today, I'm starting over. Focusing on it, practicing it, praying it. Think I'll make it?
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,....patience.....gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self control: againest such there is no law."
"And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
"If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." Galatians 5:22-25

There is my mandate.

On September 6, 1620, the Mayflower set sail from Plymouth, England for the New World. Men, women and children, 102 of them, were determined to start a colony and wound up unintentionally starting a country. Right about now, 390 years ago, those brave ones were making the preparations to leave all they had ever known for the unknown. They had much to do. Many they loved they'd leave behind. Much courage and faith to sustain them. What if they had changed their minds, canceled their plans, had serious second thoughts? If just one of those precious passengers had stayed behind...well, how would it have effected our lives?
In any plan, the foundations are what keeps it or wrecks it. We sit here today because these determined individuals made a trip that changed the face of the world. Where would we be today if that particular boat, with those particular passengers had not landed at Cape Cod, November 11, 1620?

Days of sweetness...
Today is a day of thanksgiving. Yesterday was a day for concern. Every day brings new opportunities to believe God and take Him at His Word. My heart was at peace, though my mind was telling me of all that could be, but I kept reminding myself who has the final say.
For Jesus to come and for me to ignore His presence would have made for an anxiety- ridden 18 hours. I had a choice to listen to Who I am sure of, Who's words are true, completely reliable. "Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me...Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you: not as the world giveth, give I to you. Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be afraid." John 14:1, 27
Not every time I'm anxious do I turn so quickly in His direction. What restrains me?
Heaven knows I'm not in control, but my head is not so quick to understand. Thankfully, every
day is another opportunity to trust Him. What am I saying?!! Every second is another opportunity to trust Him. He, who has promised, is able. It's the truth.